photo: The She-Creature on flickr

Have you ever been to a psychic?

Even though I’m thoroughly woo-woo, I’ve only been to one psychic in my life, and that was in my twenties.

The psychic told me some things that were totally right-on, and other things that were way off. I can be extremely impressionable, and I’ve found it’s better for me to build a relationship with my own intuition than to rely too heavily on the intuitive information of others.

That said, there is someone in my life who is not at all impressionable, someone who has such a clear sense of her own mind and her own will, that no psychic in the land can sway her.

Yes, that’s right, I’m talking about my Guru: Lucy, the cat. (For previous entries about Her Highness, go here and here and here.)

photo: z egloff

When my Guru made her way into my life, she was a year old. I found her in an animal shelter in Healdsburg, California. She was brought into the shelter by an elderly woman who mistakenly captured her in a raccoon trap.

From the minute I met her, the Guru was her feisty self. She let me hold her for about a minute. Then she bit me.

It was love at first sight.

I brought the Guru home to live with me and everything was fine. At least, for the most part.

She still had a tendency to bite and she often seemed pissed off. I had one friend who summed it up nicely. After gazing upon Lucy’s face for the first time, my friend remarked that she looked like she’d spent time in prison.

photo: z egloff

When another friend of mine mentioned she’d talked to an amazing pet psychic, I was intrigued.

After all, I had no idea what had happened to my Guru in the first year of her life. Her feistiness pointed to possible abuse. Why not talk to the psychic and see what came up?

So I set up an appointment and gave the woman a call. She lived on the East Coast, so I wasn’t able to see her in person.

As it turned out, that may have been for the best.

First of all, the woman let me know she didn’t like the term “pet psychic.” She preferred to be called an “animal intuitive.”

Got it.

Also, she sounded like she smoked about four packs of cigarettes a day and had known more than one bar fight in her time. This impression was purely from the sound of her voice and was probably totally made up. Probably.

photo: John Benson on flickr

We got down to business right away. She had me hold Lucy in my lap while she asked about her history.

Right away, the psychic started giving me information she would have no way of knowing.

She talked about a little kink in the middle of the Guru’s spine. I felt Lucy’s back: Sure enough, there was a little bump, right where the psychic said it would be.

The psychic said the bump was due to a fall Lucy had taken in her first year, a fall that was due to abuse. Apparently, Lucy had been around little children and they had not treated her well. The psychic said Lucy was probably not too happy about kids, especially boys.

This was totally on target. The Guru was – and is – terrified of kids, especially little boys.

photo: Jen Millward on flickr

The psychic also shared some fascinating tidbits.

Lucy, she said, is not athletic. (“She likes to recline,” the psychic said.)

It took a minute for this to sink in. Up until that moment, I’d thought all animals were athletic. But no. Animals, just like humans, have a range of sportiness. And the Guru, apparently, had not received that gene.

You mean that the Guru, like me, would have been the last one picked for the team in gym class?

Apparently so.

The psychic also said Lucy thinks of my house as her house. “Don’t all cats think that?” I asked. “No,” said the psychic. “But Lucy does.”

photo: z egloff

The psychic then proceeded to give me advice on how to handle Lucy’s bossy persona. She dispensed this advice in a manner quite similar to Lucy herself. She was abrupt and even caustic.

Indeed, as the psychic rattled on, I realized she had maintained this brusque manner the entire session.

No wonder she’s a pet psychic, I thought. She’s not too good with people.

When at last the session was finished, I hung up the phone and went on with my life. As did the Guru.

That was over five years ago.

Since that call, I can’t tell you how many times I have referred to the information I received. The psychic’s advice helped me understand the Guru better. It helped me take better care of her, and have compassion for what she experienced before she came to live with me.

Yes, the psychic was abrupt, even rude at times. But she had a gift, a gift she was sharing with the world. One that aided both the Guru and me.

They say our teachers bring forth exactly what we need in service of our enlightenment.

Did the Guru lead me to the pet psychic in order that I might gain greater compassion for the Guru and the pet psychic? Did the Guru intend for the psychic to push my buttons so I could grow in tolerance and objectivity?

Or did she just want me to know she’s not athletic so I’ll stop trying to get her to chase her toy mouse?

She is a Guru, after all. She knows that she and the mouse are one and there’s no need to chase anything.

Or maybe she’s just lazy.

Either way, I don’t mess with the Guru. She’s too busy reclining meditating.

photo: z egloff

Do you have a Guru with a tail? What has she or he taught you?! Share your comments below!

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photo: Diza Ramli on flickr

What’s your spiritual practice? Do you meditate? Do you pray or say affirmations? Do you spend time in nature, absorbing the beauty of the Divine?

My spiritual home is the Center for Spiritual Living Santa Rosa. At our Center, we have five practices that help us align with the Divine.

They are as follows:

1. Meditation

photo: Wonderlane on flickr

We spend time each day in quiet contemplation. We may count our breaths, watch a candle, or repeat a mantra. There is no one right way to meditate. There are as many forms of meditation as there are people on the planet.

2. Prayer

photo: digitalpimp on flickr

At the Center, we teach a form of prayer called affirmative prayer, or treatment. It’s a five step process, and it goes like this:

Recognition: Spirit is all there is. 

Unification: I am one with Spirit. 

Realization: I claim, accept, embody and welcome my good. 

Thanksgiving: I am grateful. 

Release: And so it is.

As with meditation, there is no one right way to pray. Meditation is listening to the Divine, and prayer is talking to the Divine. Both sides of the conversation are important.

3. Study

photo: john miller on flickr

Immersing ourselves in the words of spiritual seekers who have gone before us can provide immeasurable support. We can find inspiration, solace, and laughter in books and poetry about the Divine.

4. Service

photo: Kyle Taylor on flickr

One of the best ways to connect with the Divine is by seeing it in other people. Serving others is serving the Divine. Plus, it’s a great way to get us out of our own private dramas and connected to the larger Whole. And it feels good too.

5. Circulation

photo: epSos.de on flickr

We give where we are spiritually fed. This may be our spiritual home, or it may be an organization that uplifts humanity. Sharing our resources is a powerful way to connect ourselves with Divine flow. And, like service, it feels great!

So what’s missing from this list?!

Our minister at the Center, Edward Viljoen recently included the practice of Gratitude as a sixth component of spiritual practice.

I heartily concur with this addition. Just the simple practice of listing 10 things you’re grateful for every night can turn your life around. I’ve tried it, I know.

And yet, there’s still one more thing that needs to be added to this list, an invisible spiritual practice that many of us ignore.

What is it?

It’s the body.

photo: camera eye photography on flickr

Honoring the body temple is, in many ways, where spiritual practice begins. If we desecrate the temple, there’s nowhere to worship.

Depending where you are in temple maintenance, it can feel overwhelming to make changes.

So start with one.

Diet and exercise, along with sleep, are the key components. If your diet is a mess, start by eliminating one unhelpful item. If you never exercise, start by walking ten minutes a day. Take a friend with you. If you don’t get enough sleep, start going to bed fifteen minutes earlier a night.

Little changes can go a long way. And they can lead to bigger ones.

These days, my personal practice is one that some might view as “hard core.” I sleep nine hours a night. I don’t do sugar, caffeine, drugs or alcohol. I exercise four to six days a week – usually an hour-long walk. I eat a primarily vegan diet, though I take occasional forays off the vegan palate.

I don’t do these things so I can brag about them, though that is a fabulous side benefit!

Every aspect of my health routine is in service of my spiritual practice. I take care of the temple so that I have a clear and tranquil place to worship. I take care of the temple so that when the Divine shows up, I can recognize It.

I take care of the temple because it feels good. It makes me happy to be in my body.

photo: NeilsPhotography on flickr

It can be easy to miss the point. We’ve all met people who worship their particular way of eating or exercising.

The emphasis on the temple takes over and there’s no room for the Divine.

Keeping things in perspective goes a long way. And being gentle with ourselves when we trash the temple from time to time is helpful as well.

The last time I binged on sugar, I got really sick. I was unable to write for a few days, and that was the last straw. My writing practice is a fundamental part of how I stay consciously connected to the Divine. Sugar was getting in the way of that. So it had to go.

Whenever I am tempted to pop a little piece of sugary stuff into my mouth, I remember this incident.

And I pause.

And I am grateful.

Our bodies are incredible. The things they do for us – digest our food, eliminate waste, take in oxygen, circulate our blood – are astounding. All we have to do is be here, and our bodies are performing amazing feats, 24/7.

Why not show a little love for these incredible manifestations?

Because when we’re loving the temple, we’re loving the Divine.

photo: NRico on flickr

How do you honor your body temple? How does taking care of your body allow you to be closer to the Divine? Share your comments below!

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photo: Bahman Farzad on flickr

How many times have you heard the story of the butterfly emerging from its cocoon?

Maybe fifteen hundred billion times?

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good butterfly story. It’s a great metaphor for growth and transformation.

I especially like hearing about how, when they’re in the cocoon stage, they’re relegated to total mush. I’ve been total mush more than a few times in my life, and I’m always glad to hear I’m not the only one.

But all this time, the dragonfly has been quietly undergoing a most remarkable metamorphosis.

Again and again and again.

photo: Donnie Nunley on flickr

Here’s what happens:

Most of the dragonfly’s life is spent underwater.

That’s right. Underwater.

We think of the dragonfly and we think of a groovy, tattoo-inspiring insect that can fly in six directions and doesn’t take crap from anyone.

But first, they have to spend some serious time in the depths.

Not that they don’t have fun while they’re there.

The dragonfly’s underwater form is called a nymph. I suspect this is to impress the mermaids, but that’s just a theory.

The nymph is a busy little creature. It spends most of its time using its extendable jaws to catch tiny aquatic animals.

But that’s not all.

The nymphs “breathe through gills in their rectum, and can rapidly propel themselves by suddenly expelling water through the anus.”

That’s from Wikipedia. I’m not making this stuff up.

The nymph has a lifespan of up to five years. That’s five years of gulping down aquatic animals and propelling themselves at lightning speeds around the pond.

But eventually, the nymph wants more.

After spending a majority of its life underwater, the nymph is prompted to emerge from its watery existence and crawl onto a reed, above the water’s surface.

photo: Rictor Norton and David Allen on flickr

What causes our friend to burst from the depths?

Is it the desire for freedom? The desire for a fuller expression of life?

Or is it the desire to propel itself around the world with wings instead of, um, another part of its anatomy?

Who can say? Only the nymph.

photo: Roderick T on flickr

Once situated on its reed, the nymph – now in larva form – is exposed to air for the first time. This exposure causes the larva to begin breathing.

How awesome is that? From water to air, adapting itself to each environment.

But it gets even better.

Now that the larva has transitioned to its new surroundings, its skin splits at a weak spot behind the head and an adult dragonfly crawls out.

photo: Clinton & Charles Robertson on flickr

photo: Clinton & Charles Robertson on flickr

No more being stuck underwater, chasing after tiny bugs. Now this baby can fly.

It can fly forwards, backwards, up, down, and side to side. It can cruise the world in all its dragonfly glory, gulping up midges and flies along the way.

That’s the good news.

The bad news is that the dragonfly spends just a small portion of its life in this stage before it sails off to Dragonfly Heaven.

But what a life!

photo: Ana_Cotta on flickr

Now that we’ve taken a light-hearted romp through the life cycle of the dragonfly, I’d like to get serious for a minute.

(It will just be a minute, I promise!)

How often have you been the nymph?

I don’t know about you, but I’ve often had to spend a lot of time under water before I was able to emerge in my dragonfly glory. I’ve always been something of a late bloomer, and the dragonfly’s process speaks to me.

My sexuality. My gender orientation. My “coming out of the closet” as a spiritual seeker. It took me a long time to move from my private depths to a high-flying, out-in-the-world existence.

One aspect of this story that’s important is that there’s nothing wrong with the depths.

The time I spent discovering and collecting myself was invaluable. Indeed, not pushing myself to come out before I was ready was life-saving.

As for the nymph, it has a fabulous time down in the depths. It’s gobbling bugs galore. And it has a super-charged butt. Life doesn’t get much better than that.

Until it does.

Every stage of the journey is important. And powerful. And magnificent.

Thanks to the dragonfly, we now have another beautiful story of transformation. Butterflies have been getting all the glory for years. It’s time for dragonflies to have their turn.

So here’s to the dragonfly!

Whether it’s an underwater bug-gobbler, or a high-flying bad-ass, the dragonfly has something teach us all!

photo: Bùi Linh Ngân on flickr

How do you relate to the story of the dragonfly? How does it inspire your own journey? Share your comments below!

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photo: Donna & Andrew on flickr

Have you ever given your power away?

There are so many ways it can happen:

You let someone else take the lead on a project because you think they’re smarter than you. You defer to your partner’s ideas about where you should go for dinner because you don’t feel like arguing. You pull over to the curb because the police car behind you flashed its lights and told you to stop your vehicle.

Okay, that last one was a trick. When a cop tells you to do something, it’s usually a good idea to do it.

photo: City of Marietta, GA on flickr

Usually.

But even with law enforcement, there are times when standing up for ourselves is called for.

So why is it so hard?

I don’t know about you, but the older I get, the easier it is to stand up for myself. I know myself a lot better, for one thing. And I’ve learned to communicate my ideas and preferences in a way that’s respectful to myself and others.

But still.

I still find myself getting snagged, now and again, by the old habit of giving my power away.

And that’s where the ear muffs come in.

I know what you’re thinking: You gave your power away to a pair of ear muffs?

But they were driving a police car and flashing their lights at me. What was I supposed to do?!

photo: Josh Beasley on flickr

But seriously. Here’s what happened:

I’m a big fan of ear muffs. Mostly because I have no hair. Well, not no hair, but I like to keep my hair short. I also like to walk every morning, when it’s a bit chilly, and that’s when the ear muffs come in handy.

photo: Georgia Davis

When my friend Juan first saw me wearing these, he told me that if I wanted to get a girlfriend, I shouldn’t go out in public with them. For the record, I didn’t show them to Melissa until after she agreed to go out with me. Now she loves them. In fact, I got her a pair too!

photo: Z Egloff

Sounds great, right? Everything was going fine with the ear muff situation in our household, until one day.

That was the day I got into a discussion with a friend of mine about the manufacturer of my ear muffs.

My particular pair of ear muffs are so in love with their manufacturer, they proudly display the logo on their back. Or is it their spine? I’m not totally clear on the exact anatomy of ear muffs, but the part in question goes across the back of the head of the wearer.

In the case of my ear muffs, the name on their spine is 180s.

photo: Z Egloff

At least, that’s what I always thought.

Then my friend came along and told me the name was Sogl.

photo: Z Egloff

That’s the manufacturer’s name, she said.

She said it with such certainty. Like, The sky is blue. Or The earth is round. Or, Unicorns like to eat dumplings under the starlight.

Okay, that was another trick. Though dumplings under the starlight are fabulous. Just sayin’.

Anyway, my friend made her ear muff pronouncement with such authority, I immediately believed her.

So much so, that when I lost my beloved muffs and had to buy a new pair, I went online and searched the brand Sogl.

And wouldn’t you know it, there was no Sogl online.

I figured the Sogl brand was only sold in stores and didn’t have online outlets. It didn’t even occur to me to search for any other brand name. My friend had said they were Sogl and I believed her.

It wasn’t until a few months later, when I saw my beloved muffs in a catalogue under the brand name 180s, that I realized what had happened.

I had given my power away to my unicorn-loving friend. Actually, she’s not the unicorn-lover. That’s me.

But I’d given my power away, that part was true.

Now, in the spectrum of Power Giving Away, deferring to a friend’s idea about the name of a pair of ear muffs is not a huge infraction. Indeed, it’s a small one.

But I was fascinated to note how easily I had deferred to her. I could have said, That’s weird. I’ve always thought they were called 180s. What makes you so sure they’re Sogls?

Or I could have said, They’re not Sogls. They’re 180s. I’m right and you’re wrong. Na na na na na.

photo: Zawezome on flickr

But no. I had allowed the assurance of her tone to deflect me from the truth about my darling ear muffs.

The trick to owning your power is noticing when you give it away.

Once you’re aware of this, you can start to take it back. In the case of my ear muffs, I had completely failed to notice that I’d disowned my own perceptions.

I’d like to think that this little episode taught me a lesson, and from now on I’ll never give my power away ever again, but probably not.

It did change me, though. I’m one notch closer to trusting my own perceptions. And noticing when I don’t.

That’s not to say my perceptions are never wrong, but at least I can give myself the opportunity to back them up until they’re proven incorrect.

Plus, my ears will be warm while I’m doing it.

And that, my friends, is progress.

photo: Georgia Davis

Have you ever had a Sogl moment? What did you do?

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photo: Jessica Cross on flickr

How do you get your inspiration?

By reading your favorite books or listening to your favorite music? By spending time in nature? Or does your inspiration come randomly, out of the blue?

Or maybe you think you’re the kind of person who doesn’t get inspired, someone who falls outside the bounds of creativity. For those people, I would remind you that we’re all creative beings by nature. We are all made of Divine substance, and we are continually creating our lives as emanations of the eternal life force – call it Spirit or the Universe or That Which Cannot Be Named.

So there.

But what about this muse business?

The word “muse” brings to mind a flowing, fairy-like person with ribbons in her hair and a tendency to speak in rhyme. She’s fickle and flaky and a bit pretentious. If she ordered a drink from Starbuck’s, it would be a Venti Double Soy Caramel Macciato, and she’d send it back because she’s sure you used milk instead of soy.

In other words, she’s flighty. You can’t depend on her.

When I first started writing fiction, this was how I saw my muse. I was thirty-nine years old when the writing bug hit me, and my inspiration often felt as random and fickle as a Macciato-guzzling fairy.

I was continually worrying that my ideas were going to dry up, or that I was going to suddenly tire of writing. It was an angsty time in my life. In fact, you could say that in many ways I resembled our flaky caffeine-addict friend. I was fickle and unpredictable in how I responded to the creative energy flowing through me.

Until I had an idea.

One day, before I started my morning writing session, I closed my eyes and asked for Help. Specifically, I asked my angels and spirit guides to guide me in my writing for the day. Then I thanked them, opened my eyes, and started writing.

photo: Ofek Sitbon on flickr

If at any point I became stuck, or felt at a loss about what direction to take, I would close my eyes and ask for Help again.

This simple practice totally changed how I felt about my writing.

For one thing, it reminded me that my inspiration and ideas can never “dry up.” I am one with a Creative Source that never ends.

It also reminded me to ask for Help in every area of my life. Help is always there, I just have to remember to open up to it.

photo: Beshef on flickr

This practice also humbled me. Yes, it is my name on the books I’ve written and on the top of this blog. But it’s not just me who’s doing the writing.

I’m not alone when I write, and the more I acknowledge this, the richer my creative process becomes.

In fact, I would venture to say it wasn’t “my” idea to start the practice of asking for Help in the first place. It was a nudge from those creative helpers, encouraging me to play with them.

Some of you are probably rolling your eyes about now. Ask my angels for help?! Isn’t that a little too 18th century?!

To those folks, I would say that creative help can come in many forms. You can ask for assistance in number of ways – opening to the help available from loved ones who have passed, for example. Or your Higher Power in general, without getting into specific entities.

Whatever works for you is what works!

And for those of you who still think you’re not creative, here’s a thought:

Ask for Help in discovering in your creativity. Ask the Divine to introduce you to your muse.

Unless she comes with a Venti Double Soy Caramel Macciato.

In that case, you might want to ask again.

How do you relate to your muse? Where do you get your inspiration?

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photo: jeffrey schwartz on flickr

What’s the best way to get something done?

Visualize it? Or forge ahead and make it happen?

Just to be clear, this post is not for people who are only interested in the latter. Yes, you can accomplish a lot by focusing solely on physical reality, but things get a lot more interesting when you add the element of thought.

That’s what this post is about. But it’s also about how ­­­we go about using our thoughts to bring about our desires.

I have a new theory.

That’s right, Dr. Z is back on the scene and I’m breaking it down about the topic of manifestation! (For more of Dr. Z’s theories, go here and here and here.)

There are 3 ways to manifest.

Some people, but not all, adopt these 3 styles in a predictable order. Others adopt one style and stick to it. There’s no right or wrong way, but there is – in my humble opinion – an optimal way to manifest.

Are you ready to hear all about it?

Here goes!

3 Ways to Manifest Your Dreams

Manifestation Style #1: “Hands On”

photo: jessie pearl on flickr

This style is best exemplified by the movie “The Secret.” You want a red Corvette? Visualize a red Corvette. See yourself in the driver’s seat. Feel your fingers grip the steering wheel. Smell that yucky fabulous new-car smell. Allow your mind and your senses to fully absorb the reality of sitting in your amazing new car.

Lather, rinse, and repeat.

This style is a great way to get specific things. For newbie manifesters, this is a wonderful way to start. The parking places of the world await you! Short lines at Costco await you! Green traffic lights await you!

Manifestation Style #1 allows you to develop your manifestation chops. It allows you to see that your thoughts have a powerful effect on your experience of reality. And . . .

It doesn’t always work.

Drat.

What then?

Get pissed, get bitter, and give up?

Well, that’s one option. But there are others. Like. . . .

Manifestation Style #2: “Hands Off”

photo: terren in virginia on flickr

This style is best exemplified by the motto: Let go and let God.

Well, partly. First, you need to get clear about why you want what you want. If your efforts to manifest a red Corvette aren’t panning out, you step back and take a look at what’s behind the desire. Perhaps it’s reliable transportation. Or speed. Or prestige.

Then you dig a little deeper. What are the spiritual qualities underneath these desires?

Freedom? Abundance? Power?

Use your manifestation work to focus on these divine aspects and allow the Universe to determine the best way to deliver them to you.

Maybe it will be in the package of a red Corvette, maybe not.

The deeper you get into manifestation work, the more you realize the Universe is a lot smarter than you are. It always has amazing ideas that are way beyond what you can cook up. Why not follow Its lead?!

Life can get pretty amazing that way.

But wait! There’s more!

There’s yet another style that allows things to get even more amazing.

Manifestation Style #3: “Magic Hands”

photo: Linus Bohman on flickr

This style is best exemplified by the statement: You’ve got a friend in Jesus.

Okay, I’m kinda kidding. But not totally.

Some of us start out with Manifestation Style #1. We use it until we realize its limitations, at which point we adopt Manifestation Style #2.

At this point, we poo-poo those who manifest parking spaces. We look down on anyone who uses the art of visualization to manifest specific desires.

But here’s what I’ve discovered.

When you build a relationship with the Divine, you will sometimes be prompted to visualize specific outcomes.

Except instead of coming from your smaller egoic self, as they did in Manifestation Style #1, the specifics are coming from the Divine.

This is when things start to get really, really, really cool.

photo: mr. timney on flickr

A few years ago, I was in a class with Rev. Bernardo Monserrat. Rev. Bernardo is a minister and a psychotherapist with a gift for spiritual counseling. As part of the class, he did a few counseling demonstrations with volunteers.

In one of these demonstrations, Rev. Bernardo did something I’ve never forgotten. During the prayer portion of the session, he added several specific details that the client had not mentioned. These details included the client’s relationship with his wife – the client had not mentioned having a wife – and a specific goal for the client’s vocation.

After the session, several members of the class were up in arms.

You’re not supposed to outline the client’s desires, they said. Why did you do that?!

Because Spirit told me to, said Rev. Bernardo.

At this point, the client jumped in. I loved when you said those things, he said. They were perfect.

Rev. Bernardo went on to stress the importance of building a relationship with Spirit. When this relationship is intact, we are guided by the desires of the Divine in every moment.

Sometimes we are guided to affirm broad desires, like Love and Harmony. Sometimes we are guided to get really, really specific – like an improved relationship with a specific person, in a specific time and place.

And sometimes we are guided to simply let go and breathe.

photo: Vox Efx on flickr

So, how do we build a relationship with the Divine?

Meditation is a great starting place. Actually, it’s a great ending place as well. Meditation can take you really far.

There’s also dialoguing with the Divine. Asking questions and waiting to see how the answers will come – be it in dreams, or books, or highway signs, or a word from a friend.

Part of the fun of building this relationship is letting it be unique and personal and awe-some. (Thus, the You’ve got a friend in Jesus line.)

And if you ask me – because I know you want to – Dr. Z, which is the best­­­ manifestation style?!

I will say, Manifestation Style #3 is optimal.

Except when it’s not. Sometimes you need to start with Style #1 because you haven’t yet built a strong and abiding relationship with the Divine. And sometimes you need to hang out in Style #2 to relax and surrender.

But, ultimately, Style #3 allows you to utilize the benefits of Styles #1 and #2, plus it deepens your relationship with Spirit.

What’s wrong with that?

Nothing!

What’s awe-some about that?

Everything!

I rest my case.

photo: vectorportal on flickr

What manifestation styles do you use? What are the advantages of each?

photo: Christopher Michel on flickr

What’s your favorite thing about the Dalai Lama?

His cute little smile? His snappy outfits? His unrelenting efforts in the areas of human rights and world peace?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for world peace. But I just discovered something about the Dalai Lama that’s more amazing than that.

Check it out:

I recently took an Ethics class for Holmes Institute, and one of the books we read was Ethics for the New Milliennium, by – you guessed it – His Holiness the Dalai Lama.

In the book, His Holiness leads us through a wide array of ethical issues, including the individual’s quest for happiness as it intersects with the needs and desires of others.

And while that was all well and good, what really got my attention was a passage early in the book.

His Holiness recounts one of his early trips to the West, when he was staying with an extremely wealthy family. He noticed how relaxed and confident they were. He watched as servants catered to their every need.

photo: tiarescott

Perhaps the rich really are happier than other people, he thought. Perhaps money really can buy happiness.

That is, until he saw their medicine cabinet full of sleeping pills and tranquilizers. It was then he realized he had been deceived by outward appearances.

Since that day, His Holiness has discovered that people living in materially-developed countries are often less happy than those who live in more modest circumstances.

When we put material wealth above our basic connection with others, suffering is the result.

This story stuck in my head. It reminded me of a recent Gallup poll that rated the world’s happiest countries. The places that scored the highest were not bastions of material wealth. They were places – like El Salvador and Venezuela – that put a high premium on family and community.

photo: epSos.de on flickr

I was impressed by the way the Dalai Lama took a simple observation and expanded it into a powerful prescription for happiness and goodwill.

And then it hit me. Months after I read the story, I realized I had neglected to notice an important detail:

The Dalai Lama peeked into their medicine cabinet!

In his retelling of the story, he notes that the cabinet was “slightly open.” We all know that one, right?

The door was slightly ajar, so I peeked into the room. The cookie jar was slightly open, so I helped myself to a few cookies.

photo: slgckgc

In other words, the Dalai Lama committed a completely human act. Driven by curiosity, he checked out the prescription drugs of the people he was staying with.

His Holiness also admits, in the same book, that although vegetarianism is a healthy and valuable practice, he is not a vegetarian.

These are more than simple statements of human imperfection. They are powerful reminders of what it means to be on a spiritual path.

The Dalai Lama is human. He’s a human being with foibles and imperfections. Not only that, he freely admits it.

His Holiness brings gentleness and compassion to everything he does, including those things that others might deem “unacceptable.”

I think I was initially unable to recognize his slightly naughty behavior because of his spiritual stature. Like, someone really spiritual like the Dalai Lama is incapable of anything but 100% enlightened activity. Right?

photo: greg walters on flickr

But that’s not what the spiritual path is about. It’s about love. It’s about bringing love to everyone and everything.

Everyone and everything.

Think of a part of yourself you don’t like. Bring love to that part.

Think of someone you don’t like. Bring love to them.

Think of a group of people you don’t like. Bring love to them.

If it’s difficult, ask the Divine for help. And if you can’t bring love at first, ask for the willingness to bring a little love in the future. Or the willingness to be willing.

Being human. Doing our best. Bringing as much love as we can to every situation and circumstance.

If the Dalai Lama can do it, so can we.

photo: Christopher Michel on flickr

How do you love your human self? How do you forgive yourself when you stray?

photo: Denise Krebs on flickr

What’s your favorite affirmation?

Even if you don’t do affirmations, I’ll bet you still have one.

Like when you’re having a great day and you say to yourself, My life is amazing.

Or when you accomplish something significant and you think, I am awesome. And I keep getting awesomer.

One of my favorite baseline affirmations is:

I approve of myself just the way I am.

It’s great in any situation. It works when things are going well and I’m feeling great. And it works when everything is falling apart and I’m feeling crappy.

I approve of myself just the way I am.

This affirmation allows me to open up to the Love that’s always present within and around me.

photo: Wil Kristin on flickr

And then there’s another kind of affirmation, a naughty kind.

These affirmations don’t play by the rules. Indeed, if the Affirmation Police catch you using a rogue affirmation, you’ll get a ticket.

Granted, the ticket will be a positive statement, in the present tense, preferably beginning with “I am.” Because that’s how affirmations are supposed to be phrased.

Rogue affirmations don’t play by the rules. And yet they work anyway. Which, ultimately, is the key to their charm.

Here’s an example:

Back in the day, I bought a book called The Only Diet There Is by Sondra Ray. The book contains a whole bunch of wonderful affirmations designed to foster a healthy body image and heal any dysfunctions with food.

photo: Ben Hosking on flickr

At the time I bought the book, I was in my early twenties and just starting to heal my disordered relationship with food. I was anorexic as a teenager, a pattern that was followed by several years of compulsive overeating.

When I was twenty-three years old, I stumbled upon the spiritual path. I started meditating and stopped eating sugar. Both of these practices had a positive effect on my body image and my relationship with food.

I bought Sondra Ray’s book to support the healing I was experiencing with food and weight.

A majority of the affirmations in her book played by the rules. They were positive, affirmative statements phrased in the present tense. Statements like:

I am a thin, fit woman who can sit and eat slowly and stop before I am full.

I wrote out a list of my favorite affirmations from the book and read them daily.

The affirmations were great and I loved them all. There was one affirmation, however, that I was particularly fond of. Unlike the others, it strayed from the proper procedure.

Calories make me warm, not fat!

It’s phrased in the present tense. It’s got that going for it. But it has the word “not” in it. Baaaaaaaaad.

And then there’s the word “fat.” That’s exactly the opposite of what you’re wanting to affirm. Verrrrrry baaaaaaad.

There’s no reason why this affirmation should work. The rationale behind using positive statements in affirmations is that the subconscious doesn’t register the word no. If you say “No drugs,” the subconscious just hears “Drugs.”

That’s why “Just Saying No” to things is often unsuccessful.

photo: Gail Williams on flickr

Except when it is.

In my case, my enthusiastic use of “Calories make me warm, not fat” resulted in an interesting phenomenon.

Slowly but surely, my metabolism started to change. Most noticeably, any time I slowed down – particularly when I meditated or slept – my body heated up.

This phenomenon continues to this day. I am what is known in the mattress trade as a radiator. Melissa and I recently had to return a mattress three times because my heat-inducing tendencies relegated a regular foam mattress into a slab of mush.

Calories make me warm, not fat!

photo: Geert Schneider on flickr

My favorite thing about this story is that it’s a reminder of one of the fundamental tenets of the spiritual path.

Life is a mystery.

Yes, there are rules and patterns beneath things, and we can use these rules and patterns to improve our lives and align ourselves with the Divine.

But sometimes the Divine colors outside the lines. Indeed, sometimes the lines disappear altogether.

The more we can accept the rules and the transcendence of rules, the happier we’ll be.

It all begins and ends in the same place: with the Divine. When we let something bigger than ourselves guide us through the world of order and apparent disorder, everything starts to make sense.

Except when it doesn’t.

And that’s okay.

photo: Derrick Tyson on flickr

When has coloring outside the lines served you? When has breaking the rules brought you fulfillment?

Mp3 available here!

The story behind this video:

In the spring of 2012, I took a class at Holmes Institute called Metaphysical Bible. For our final project, our instructor, Rev. Robin Davidson asked us to come up with a presentation that reconciled the Old Testament, fire-and-brimstone God with the New Age, touchy-feely God. She encouraged us to be creative.

What to do?

As I was contemplating this heady assignment, I heard a voice.

Just like in the Old Testament!

Except this voice wasn’t telling me to lead a bunch of outcasts across the desert, or give away all my possessions and devote my life to the Lord.

This voice had something entirely different in mind.

Do a rap, it said.

Say whaaaaat? I said back.

I decided the voice was crazy and chose to ignore it.

But it wouldn’t leave me alone. Finally, I ran the idea by my wife Melissa, hoping to silence the voice once and for all.

No such luck.

She thought it was a great idea.

The chorus for Big Bang popped into my head soon after. For several weeks, that’s all I had – just the chorus. Then one morning I got up bright and early to play music at the Center for Spiritual Living Santa Rosa. I jumped in the shower and, lo and behold, the first verse came to me. In between services that morning, I wrote the rest of the verses.

I was beginning to realize the voice was onto something.

Before sharing my rap with the class, I asked Melissa to help me lay down a rhythm track so I could present myself like a proper rapper. As we were putting the tracks together, she heard a refrain in her head. She asked if I would mind if she added some vocals.

Go right ahead, I said.

As soon as she was done, we started to get excited. We felt like we were onto something powerful and fun.

Soon after, I had the vision that this would make a great video. But how? Neither Melissa nor I knows anything about video. And we didn’t have a reserve of funds for such a thing.

The morning before I presented the rap to class, I made a declaration to Melissa.

We’re going to find the perfect people to help us make a video for Big Bang, I said.

I didn’t do a long-and-involved visualization or prayer treatment. Just a simple declaration.

Melissa told me the class would love the rap and she was right. Right after I finished, a classmate of mine, Karen Fry came up to me.

I have a great video camera, she said. I want to help you make a video of this rap. And I know the perfect person to edit it.

Okay, I said.

Talk about answered prayer! I had said nothing to anyone about a video except Melissa.

A few months later, we spent a day shooting footage in Oakland and Berkeley. By then, we had another Holmes colleague on board, Rev. Sharon Dunn. Sharon, like Karen Fry, had a great camera. Sharon also had experience with video and proved to be a great asset to the project.

The best part of the day was going onto the UC Berkeley campus. My friend Lillian Howan suggested Berkeley as the perfect place to find people for our wacky little rap video. Lillian brought her daughter Vanina and her son Tien to be part of the chorus. We were also joined by our classmate Tara Steele and several other Reverends: Sunshine Daye, Linda Reppond and Elizabeth Rowley.

Along the way, we met a class of exchange students from Italy, a group of teenagers preparing for a flash mob, and a crew of folks fresh out of a poetry slam conference. All of them agreed to be in the video.

It was a magical day. As more and more people joined in, we kept dropping our jaws in amazement.

It’s a God thing, we said.

After our day in Berkeley, Melissa added some additional music to the rap, so we had to get more footage. We decided that the Asilomar Conference Grounds in Pacific Grove, where the Centers for Spiritual Living holds their annual conference, would be the perfect place. Our footage at Asilomar included some great shots of Melissa at the beach, as well as a whole crew of people – kids, teens, and adults – who joined us for our biggest Big Bang chorus yet.

It’s a God thing, we continued to say.

When the video footage was finished, we were ready for editing.

The “perfect person” Karen Fry had recommended as an editor was Alex Einsenhart. Alex recently started his studies at University of California Santa Barbara as a Film and Media Studies major. Alex has lots of experience with video and happily agreed to edit our footage.

We sent him everything we had and he quickly put together a fabulous video. We were thrilled.

Then came the waiting. The guy we wanted to mix the final audio, Tom Size was on tour in Europe with Y&T. We used the time to finish the audio tracks with the help of Melissa’s brother Randy Phillippe on production and vocals, my brother Georg Egloff on keys, Scotty Urquhart on bass, and Murray Orrick on drum, guitar, and vocals.

On February 5, 2013, Melissa’s and my fourth year anniversary, we did the final mix with Tom. A week later, we sent the audio mix to Alex, and, at long last, we were ready to share our video with the world.

It’s a God thing.

Enjoy!

(For more on my evolution as a rap star, go here).

photo: Stig Nygaard on flickr

Have you ever had contact with something Bigger than yourself?

And I’m not talking about a phone call with the I.R.S.

Or an offer to join the Publisher’s Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

I’m talking about Something so big, so vast, it takes your breath away. Something that reminds you who you are, and what you’re made of.

I guess if you’re super enlightened, you could find this Something everywhere, including the I.R.S. and Publisher’s Clearinghouse.

But given that I’m still inching my way to super-enlightened status, I took a different path. I found this Something on stage.

photo: Will Bakx

Here’s what happened:

A few weeks ago, Melissa and I did music for the Sunday services at the Center for Spiritual Living Santa Rosa. I’m blessed to be married to a gifted singer and songwriter – that would be Melissa – and this particular Sunday, we were performing two of her newest songs.

One of these songs, entitled “All is Well,” is my current favorite. The song starts out like this:

I release and let go

Of what isn’t mine to carry.

I let go

And I dwell. . .

In the space in between.

In this silent sanctuary

I know

All is well.

Every time I’ve played this song with Melissa, I go into a trance. And by trance, I do not mean that I’ll do wacky tricks upon request, like those people who get hypnotized and start barking like a dog or reciting the alphabet in Arabic.

photo: cushing memorial library on flickr

This trance is way better than that.

I feel like I’m floating along with the music. Melissa’s voice and the words of the song, along with the notes coming out of my fingers on the piano, combine to create a magical bubble that carries me along until the song is over.

This Sunday morning was no different. The Center has three services, and the first two allowed me to experience the magical-bubble effect like usual.

And then came the third service. That’s when things got really good.

First I need to back up a minute, to put things in context.

I recently started working with Linda Marshall, who does Craniosacral Therapy. When she was first talking about how this particular form of therapy works, she described a huge force, which she calls Love, that directs the movement of the treatment.

She said that anytime she tries to step in and intervene, this force backs off. But when she remains a gentle guide, this Love energy can come in and work Its magic.

After my first treatment, Linda was talking about how my particular system reacted to the therapy. She said there’s a component in me that she described as “will”. This is the part that thinks I need to do everything myself.

She reminded me that this part can relax, and that I can allow the bigger force to do Its work.

And so I found myself, a few days later, sitting in front of the piano for the third Sunday morning service.

Before I started to play, I closed my eyes. All of a sudden, I felt this huge energy, like a gigantic river. And I knew that the river was the song I was about to play.

I heard a voice say that this river would always be there. I could step into it at any time. And every time I stepped into it, it would be different.

I also heard that I could give myself fully to this river. That I didn’t have to be afraid.

And so I opened my eyes and began to play.

The magical trance bubble was there, like usual. But now I knew it to be a river. A big, endless river. And I was not only carried along by it, it was inside me as well. I was allowing the river to make me bigger, to make the music bigger through me.

This lasted the entire song. And then it was over.

But it wasn’t over, because of the hugeness of what had happened.

It took me a few hours to remember the Craniosacral Therapy, and the link between the two. But I finally got it.

The river is my life.

That life force is always there, waiting for me to step into it. It’s way bigger than me, and it’s different every time.

But I can give into It. I can trust It.

Ultimately, the river is in everything I do. But there are certain activities – like music – that make it easier to apprehend.

We all have this ability to remember and experience the river. And every one of us has our own unique way of experiencing it.

Maybe it’s through music. Or art. Maybe it’s being in nature. Or in physical activity like running or dancing. Maybe it’s yoga or meditation.

Whatever it is, give yourself to it! Allow yourself frequent excursions to this place.

Eventually, you’ll be able to experience it everywhere. In everything.

Even the I.R.S.

photo: Jason Paris on flickr

How do you experience the river? Share your stories!

For more on my on-stage antics, go here and here and here.